hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize