I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
