You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize