Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
