There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
