Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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