my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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