so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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