wanna go halves on a baby?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
