i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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