I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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