I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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