...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
