Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
