is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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