I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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