Porn is love you can see.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize