apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sober January is a disaster.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
