She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's shark week go big or go home
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize