Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
