I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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