Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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