sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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