Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
