the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
