this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You pole danced in your parka.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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