Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Randomize