i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
bring money and cleavage
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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