That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
