He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
