He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
