what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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