somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
