Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
