i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
