I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
