She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
