i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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