this beer tastes like vomit already
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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