Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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