Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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