I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
