hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
