Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
