You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
