i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
