I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
