I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
