I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
