He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
