I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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