Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The power of my boobs compel you
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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