Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
