Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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