I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sext me about skeletons
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize