Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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