I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
