Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
